Glutton for Punishment.....

They call them mock drafts for a reason; so you can mock the stupidity of the picks made by others who generally know jack shit about football. To that end I've put one together & even had the audacity to include not one but TWO first round trades! Spicy livin' at The Barrel this week. Without further ado:

1. STL: Sam Bradford, QB, Okla.: the obvious choice for a team with no QB. Projects as a good not great NFL QB.
2. DET: House of Motherfucking Spears, Wherever He Wants, Other Planetary: please, please don't fuck this up! You see, I'm a Lions fan (hangs head in shame, flagellates self while chanting Matt Millen's name). For the record, the 4th Down Consultant is also. We are two of 17 people in Georgia to admit this. I have to think that even the Lions can't screw this up......Who am I kidding?
3. Tampa Bay: G. McCoy, DT, Okla: great fit in the revamped Tampa 2 under Raheem Morris. An impact player in the vein of Warren Sapp (sans weed, which really negates any comparison because what is Warren Sapp without weed?).
4. Washington: Trent Williams, OT, Okla: 3 of the 1st 4 picks for the Sooners. The Skins are blowing smoke about Berry. Remember this is Mike Shanahan's show now, he of the prolific zone blocking scheme. They desperately need a LT now that Chris Samuels is retired & Williams is the draft's most athletic.
5. Trade: Philadelphia trades picks 24, 37, & 70 to the Chiefs for pick #5. (Yes I did the calculation on a trade chart!). Philadelphia: Eric Berry, S, Tenn.: Philly needs top-tier impact players & needs a replacement for Brian Dawkins. Berry is that player. KC needs depth & Pioli knows it- they have tons of holes. Almost too logical....
6. Seattle: Russell Okung, OT, Okla St.:Walter Jones is gone & Seattle needs a help on the O-line. A solid choice in Carroll's first draft.
7. Cleveland: Kyle Wilson, CB, Boise St.: could be Haden but I think the choice is Wilson after his great Senior Bowl. Cleveland could also trade down here.
8. Oakland: Mike Iupati, OG, Idaho: if I knew what Al Davis was going to do I'd probably shoot myself. Iupati is a mauler & good player even though they have other more pressing needs. Sounds like a Raiders draft pick.....
9. Buffalo: Bryan Bulaga, OT, Iowa: our old friend Chan Gailey. Despite what many think, Gailey is neither stupid nor a bad coach, he was simply a fish out of water at Tech. Now he's back in his natural environment & more comfortable. Gailey might be tempted by Clausen here but knows there's no point in drafting a QB if you can't keep him upright. Bulaga might not be a star but he'll be serviceable for a long time. Could be a NT here but it seems too early...
10. Jacksonville: Joe Haden, CB, Florida: when you have Indy & Houston in your division you can't ever have enough DB's. Haden fills an immediate need & the Jags can try & snag a lesser name pass rusher like Teo-Nesheim of Washington at #74.
11. Trade- Dallas trades picks #27 & #59 to Denver to move up & select: Earl Thomas, S, Texas: the Cowboys need a dynamic playmaker in the back & Thomas is just that guy. Plus he's a Texas boy & that helps....
12. Miami: Rolando McClain, LB, Alabama: too good a player fr Parcells to pass on. They would like to trade out here so the above scenario is also in play. While McClain is good was he a product of Saban's great defenses?
13. San Fransisco: CJ Spiller, RB, Clemson: they need a OT but can probably get one at #17 & if they want Spiller they have to grab him here. Will help in the return game & with Singletary's conservative, defensive style this is a big plus.
14. Seattle: Dez Bryant, WR, Okla St.: diva or not the dude can play. Seattle is slow & lacks playmakers, this pick helps. They can think about a RB like Cal's Jahvid Best at #60.
15. NY Giants: Derrick Morgan, DE, GT - the wait is over. Morgan projects much better as a 4-3 end than a 3-4 OLB to me & the Giants have a need with Umenyiora's status up for grabs. They worked him out hard at Tech's pro day.
16. Tennessee: Jason Piere-Paul, DE, South Florida: boom or bust here for the Titans. They see the next Jevon Kearse. I see just a lot of curses from the fans in 3 years.....A real reach.
17. San Fransisco: Anthony Davis, OT, Rutgers - there are concerns about Davis, particularly concentration & effort. Singletary can harness that a la Vernon Davis. Lots of raw tools & can start at RT, probably his more natural position.
18. Pittsburgh: Maurkice Pouncey, C, Florida - Mike Webster is smiling somewhere....In a division where you face Shaun Rogers & Haloti Ngata twice a year you better have a stout center. Pouncey is the guy & the Steelers can plug him in & forget about the position for 10 years. Really good player....
19. Atlanta: Brandon Graham, DE, Michigan: Dimitroff has played this very close to the vest & it could be Greshan or BayBay here but my gut says Graham. The Falcons get a very productive if undersized player who terrorized the offensive line at the Senior Bowl.
20. Houston: Ryan Matthews, RB, Fresno St. - could be a CB but the two guys they covet, Haden & Wilson are gone. This will shore up the run game & give them a fearsome offense to rival the Colts. They hope a player like Kareem Jackson or Patrick Robinson is available at #51.
21. Cincinnati: Jermaine Gresham, TE, Okla.: name a Bengals tight end? Thought so. With Ochocinco & Antonio Bryant on the edge the middle should be wide open & Gresham can exploit that. A need pick with Gresham's health being the only concern.
22. New England: Jared Odrick, DT, Penn State - a perfect fit in Belichek's 3-4 system & fills a need. Pats would be thrilled to get him here. BayBay is an outside shot here.
23. Green Bay: Charles Brown, OT, USC: Green Bay desperately needs help at tackle & Brown can spend a year developing & adding some weight. A converted TE, Brown is a good fit for the Pack.
24. Kansas City (from Philadelphia): Dan Williams, DT, Tennessee - The Chiefs desperately need a NT for their 3-4 & they trade out & get their guy in Williams. More of a 3 down player than Cody, Williams fills a HUGE need for KC.
25. Baltimore: Devin McCourty, CB, Rutgers - the Ravens are close but will have to face the passing attacks of Indy, Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, regularly to make the Super Bowl. A CB along the lines of Cris McCalister in his prime helps & they get that guy in McCourty. The bonus is the guy is a special teams ace.....
26. Arizona: Jerry Hughes, OLB, TCU - the Cards get a great pass rusher late in round one to bolster their defense. Hughes will be an impact player in the desert for Tech alum Ken Whisenhunt.
27. Jacksonville (from Dallas): Jimmy Clausen, QB, Notre Dame: the slide has stopped. David Garrard isn't the answer and after drafting 2 good tackles last year the Jags get the QB of the future. Clausen is the most ready QB in this year's draft class.
28. San Diego: Linval Joseph, DT, East Carolina - didn't see that one coming, did you? The Chargers need a NT with Jamaal Williams departure & Joseph is their guy. AJ Smith will pass on Cody as Joseph has more upside. The first big surprise of the draft.
29. NY Jets: BayBay Thomas, WR, GT - BayBay sneaks into the end of round one. Yes the Jets have Braylon Edwards & Santonio Holmes, but both of those guys are one bad Saturday night away from a long suspension. Rex Ryan craves athletes & Thomas is certainly that.
30. Minnesota: Colt McCoy, QB, Texas - the Vikings could go CB here with Kareem Jackson or Patrick Robinson but the clock is ticking on Favre & they want their next QB to have at least one year under his tutelage (I smirked as I typed this).
31. Indianapolis: Rodger Saffold, OT, Indiana - the Colts stay close to home & pick a guy they've watched for a long time. Saffold is a polished pass protector and an immediate upgrade in Indy.
32. New Orleans: Brian Price, DT, UCLA - the Saints are loaded on offense so defense is the obvious choice here & it comes down to Price or Missouri's Sean Witherspoon. Size wins, particularly in a run heavy division with Carolina, Atlanta, & Tampa Bay.

That's it. Mock the mock.........