They trash their "beloved" campus....cretins (so begins a week of egregious pot shots...)
But we digress. On to the Schadenfreude edition of Those for Whom We Root:
- Chaos is South Bend. It's been well documented that we find Notre Dame & their legion of moronic sidewalk fans to be nothing more than a gaggle of sanctimonious bastards. So we can't help but sit back & smile as things begin to unravel in Assville, Indiana. What's gonna happen to Fat Charlie? In the immortal words of the Clash (a fine band, we might add): "will he stay or will he go?". Ahh, this is almost bloodsport watching fat Charlie Weis squirm, as now even the local papers have turned on him. It's like watching a giant catfish being landed by a bunch of drunken Cajuns. It's bound to be entertaining & somebody's gonna show their ass....Priceless entertainment. So we'll root for more chaos & leave you with this gem...
Posting this never gets old....
- Corey Zickefoose. Hey Lane Kiffin....karma's a bitch, ain't she? Should have shut that pie hole & concentrated on keeping your players outta jail instead of riling up the entire Southeast with your grandstanding. But God bless armed robbery victim & rabid Vol fan Corey Zickefoose, who steadfastly stands by his men:
"I think they should still be able to play football, regardless. Tennessee is my place. It's my football team."
"Even after they put a gun in your face?" asked a local reporter...
"Yeah, it's Tennessee. That's the way it is sometimes" answered Zickefoose.
Absolutely priceless, sir. We couldn't have said it better ourselves: "yeah, it's Tennessee. That's the way it is sometimes." We're rooting for you & the shenanigans in Knoxvegas to continue. Sounds like a reasonable enough fella, Mr. Zickefoose...
- The restaurant industry in Lawrence, Kansas. Owners are trembling in fear this week as the University of Kansas announced it was launching an investigation into the apparent unseemly behavior of head football coach Mark Mangino. What's unseemly about eating your offensive coordinator & then snacking on a punter? A man has needs you know....We must offer into evidence that we know of what we speak when we talk of girth & largess. Hell, Hash & Frank represent a solid quarter ton on the hoof. But there are 2 of us & only 1 of the Mighty Mangino. So layoff, Kansas. He was a little grumpy & hadn't eaten in a while...The man's a modern day Weeble-Wobble....
Would the real Mark Mangino please stand up? Please stand up?
And finally, we're most definitely rooting for....
- A "last-man-standing" Texas cage match in Ann Arbor. Tressel vs. Rodriguez in a full scale, winner-take-all brawl. We're giddy just thinking about it. A rivalry in which we have no stake is suddenly compelling. This is some serious shit. On the order of George Bush vs. Kim Jong-il. Two morons slugging it out in a battle of mediocrity. In one corner, the ultra-conservative Tressel, a man whose ability to squander talent is matched only by his offense's ineffectiveness. Think Ray Goff in a sweater vest with a midwestern accent. His idea of exciting is a draw play on third down. Offensive innovation be damned. In the other corner the nefarious Rich Rod, dirtbag extraordinaire. This man is the closest thing to Jackie Sherrill since....Jackie Sherrill. He makes Danny Ford look like a choir boy. Not only can he cheat, he can manage to cheat & lose, all the while destroying a once proud football program. But wait, both these guys need to survive....as long as their around the Big 11 will suck worse than our beloved ACC.
"I'm fixin' to fuck your shit up, Sweatervest..."
"Watch your language, you're offending my Midwestern sensibilities, ...Cheaterboy...."
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