Tuesday, November 10, 2009

White Russians & Walters.....


That time again. So without further ado....
For service to the Institute above & beyond the call of duty & general badassedness....

White Russians:
  • Derrick Morgan. The junior defensive end has been a beast all year. On Saturday his shoe-string sack of Riley Skinner moved Wake out of game-winning field goal range and sent us to overtime. You know the rest....Morgan's line on the day: 6 tackles, 3.5 tackles for loss, & three sacks. All while being double & even triple teamed! His motor never stops & he's really been the only source of pressure from the Tech defensive line all year. I've watched some good defensive lineman at Tech: Swilling, Coleman, Rudolph, Geathers, Henderson, Johnson, Vance Walker, Darryl Richard....an impressive list. #91 is the best I've seen on the Flats...
Fine day at the office, Mr. Morgan. A cocktail?
  • Mario Edwards. The junior free safety made his first start as a Jacket this weekend & a memorable one it was. 8 tackles & a pass defended all while providing a much needed physical presence in the secondary. His continued development will free Morgan Burnett to roam & make more plays...
  • Our rooting interests from last week. Nice work. Navy to beat Fat Charlie & the Fightin' Leprechauns? Check. Toby Gerhart/Stanford's International Harvester tractor? 38 carries for 223 yards in a 51-42 Cardinal win. 38 carries? Are you kidding me? Must be bourbon fueling that tractor. The Northwestern Literary Fellowship of Kafka & Fitzgerald? Check. 17-10 over Iowa. Damn fine work from that bunch.....
A curtain call for last week's rooting interests...
  • Mr. & Mrs. Orange. Parent's of Wake Forest defensive end Gelo (pronounced jello). Gelo Orange. Thanks for keeping it interesting...
Walter's:
There are rules, Smokey....
  • Cushion. Yes, Cushion. We don't need to give every receiver we play 15 yards. Particularly on 3rd & 6. Really.....And the cover 4 defense we played in the first half? Basically "quarters" is a prevent style defense. And we know about prevent defense here at "The Barrel". Say it with me: THE ONLY THING A PREVENT DEFENSE PREVENTS IS WINNING!!!!!
Nigel & the fellas were advocating an entirely different cushion...
  • ACC replay officials. Really? You're watching the same feed I am you blind bastards!!!! Juggling the ball as you out of bounds isn't a catch. Not here, not anywhere. And if you're gonna blow the call like on Saturday, could you at least hurry the fuck up. Fucking War & Peace took less time....tirade over....
  • Boise State. You can hire as many PR firms as you want to push your case for the BCS. Waste your money. Here's a free idea. Man up, you sniveling twits! Play a marginal schedule. Oregon to open the season was fine. The rest is a downright joke. Better to play the 9 teams in the Eastern Uzbekistan Football Conference....You're kidding about the BCS, right?
  • And as long as I'm on Boise State, a big fat turd sandwich for Louisiana Tech head coach Derek Dooley. You're playing the #6 team in the country, at home, down by 2 at the end of the 3rd quarter. You've just scored 21 consecutive points. Crowd is pumped. You're 3-5 on the year. It's 4th & 1 on your own 29. The last time they tackled your tailback was in the second quarter. What do you do? Go for it like Paul Johnson? Put your team, a team with NOTHING to lose, in contention for a signature win? Shock everyone watching the morbid Wednesday night football game awake? No, you punt. And Boise State scores. And you lose momentum. And the game. Ahh, you're the son of Vince Dooley...
Make that turd sandwich a double decker for Derek Dooley....

And finally, the highest honor we bestow at "The Barrel" is The Jesus...
Because nobody fucks with the Jesus....

You guessed it...our second ever winner is head football coach Paul Johnson...
And his giant testicles....

No comments:

Post a Comment