Ranking the ACC's Coaches.....

We engaged in a gentle discussion with a friend the other day over the superiority of the SEC over the rest of college football. First, before you get your undergarments all knotted up, this is not going to descend into a debate over SEC vs. ACC superiority. Frankly, been there, done that, got the scars to prove it. Let's move on from that debate (we can debate this later if anyone so chooses- just fire up a comment). For the record, the "discussion" of SEC greatness vs. our beloved ACC ended with him simply repeating"John Swofford, John Swofford, John Swofford" like some deranged Louisiana voodoo priest until I cowered whimpering in a corner. That guy is a pox upon ACC fans like none other, insidious bastard.

I digress. In our discussion of ACC vs. SEC the topic of coaching came up. Of course he trotted out the names Meyer & Saban as examples of SEC greatness. I countered with CPJ & Beamer, so on & so forth. Perhaps the only usable information that came from the discussion was a realization that Houston Nutt & Dabo Swinney are actually the SAME PERSON! Giggity, giggity....But the debate did get us thinking about ACC coaching in general. How do the head coaches in our conference stack up? Is there a level playing field or are things stratified? So we decided to rank the ACC's head coaches, from top to bottom, & see what we actually thought of the headmen in the ACC. This is not a ranking of the programs as a whole but a ranking of the coaches. Who would you want coaching Tech if CPJ wasn't here & we had to hire a coach from within the ACC? That's essentially the standard. The number after their name in parenthesis is their salary, in millions, per year, just in case you wanted to make that correlation. Here goes:

• 1) Frank Beamer, Virginia Polly (2.1): oh, the gnashing of teeth. Why didn't you put CPJ first, you traitorous bastard? Well, frankly because we think CPJ will overtake Beamer in a couple years but right now Beamer is the gold standard in the ACC. The dean of ACC coaches with 23 years at VPISU, Beamer has built a consistently excellent program. In six years in the conference, Beamer has won the ACC Championship three times, the Coastal division four times & finished second twice. His teams are consistently ranked in the top 25, he's won an Orange Bowl, something no other ACC team has managed, & played for a national championship in 1999. Other than the brothers Vick, the program is perceived as relatively law abiding. So for now we'll put Beamer on top of the ACC mountain but that perch is tenuous, particularly with defensive coordinator Bud Foster looking for a head coaching job, offensive coordinator Bryan Stinespring a dubious character, & a gentleman in Atlanta building a juggernaut....

• 2) Paul Johnson, MA TECH (2.3): with the retirement of Bobby Bowden, Johnson becomes the conference's highest paid coach & deservedly so, having turned our fortunes around in just two years on the Flats. While many nay-sayers doubted the effectiveness of his spread option offense, Johnson has silenced the critics with a 20-7 record during his first two years in Atlanta. The two bowl losses are the only unexpected blemish on his record so far. We love him at Tech & rightly so. As I said earlier, we have every expectation he'll over take Beamer on this list with in two years, particularly with Al Groh running the defense on the Flats.

• 3) Jim Grobe, Wake Forest (1.2): does anyone do more with less? Grobe has built a consistent winner at a school with a little more than 7,000 students. Grobe's Wake teams are always smart, disciplined & they play hard. His policy of redshirting every player has certainly paid dividends at school handicapped by their size. There are never off-field issues at Wake & Grobe always seems to find talent that flies under the radar (Aaron Crry, Riley Skinner). We're pleasantly surprised he's stuck around in Winston-Salem as long as he has.

• 4) David Cutcliffe, Ole Miss (1.5): do you think Ole Miss fans punch themselves in the groin when they remember they fired Cutcliffe only to end up with Houston Nutt? It's tough to win in football at Duke. There are high school games in metro Atlanta that draw bigger crowds than a home game at Wallace Wade Stadium. There's no football tradition & frankly most Dukies could care less about football, it's simply a prelude to hoops. But Cutcliffe is building a solid program in Durham. They will no longer be the doormat of the ACC. Will they ever be a juggernaut? Doubtful. But Cutcliffe isn't making excuses, he's just steadily changing the culture in Durham. He & Grobe certainly make the most of the limited resources they have.

• 5) Butch Davis, UNC (2.1): the hiring of Davis at UNC was seen around the conference as a huge deal; a powerful school goes out & gets a big name coach who's both won a national championship (Miami) & coached in the NFL (Cleveland). So far, the results have been decent but frankly I think everyone expected more. It's still early, as 2009 was only Davis' third year in Chapel Hill, so there's a chance we're ranking him a bit low. There's little question that Davis can recruit as he's stockpiled a vast array of talent at UNC. The question remains as to how that talent is put to use, particularly on the offensive side of the ball? 2010 will be a key year for Davis as the Heel's defense is loaded & they looked primed to contend for an ACC title.

Please note: we are now entering the OH SHIT zone. The waters in which these coaches swim are murky & filled with oft angry fans, boosters, & alumni. Tread at your own risk....

• 6) Tom O'Brien, NCSU (1.1): hired away from Boston College three seasons ago, O'Brien's tenure in Raleigh has been underwhelming so far. Thought of as a solid coach & disciplinarian, O'Brien has yet to make his mark on the Wolfpack program & better start soon or his time will be up. The natives, as we say, are restless. One side note is that the reason many N.C. State fans are upset is that it was rumored that the Pack chose O'Brien over Paul Johnson. A giant thank you from Tech fans everywhere....

• 7) Randy Shannon, ThugU (1.5): from former Miami player to graduate assistant/bagman for Dennis Erickson to head coach. A tidy little circle. Only one other ACC school (FSU) has the national cache that Miami has & yet Shannon has been able to do little to reinvigorate the once swagger-filled program. Sure they have talent but not nearly as much as in year's past. And their performance on the field lacks not only swagger but discipline & execution as well. Shannon & Miami have slowly improved as his assistants have gotten better but frankly he's in over his head. He did, after all, VOLUNTARILY hire Patrick Nix.

• 8) Ralph Friedgen, Maryland (1.75): Simply a beautiful man. Look at the cut of his jib. It pains us to put The Fridge here but after last season's 2-10 debacle we fear his ample seat is quite hot. Friedgen has never managed any consistency in College Park, yoyo-ing from 9-4 to 5-7 on a regular basis. That plus the high expectations of the Maryland fanbase and a coach-in-waiting (James Franklin) have the Fridge in a tenuous position. He's recruited well enough at Maryland but losses to teams they should easily beat have been a hallmark of his tenure. Fridge may be that classic case of someone who's better as a coordinator than head coach.

That leaves us with four coaches left who, due to their lack of time in their current job, we really can't rank. It's incredibly premature & just guesswork to try & figure out how Jimbo Fisher at FSU & Mike London at Virginia will fare. Same can be said for second-year coaches Dabo Swinney at Climpsum & Frank Spaziani at Boston College. It's just far too early to tell how they will turn out as coaches. If we had to guess, Fisher will do an okay job at FSU & based on the historical strength of the program will have above-average success. London has done it at the FCS level so we'll see how it translates. Spaziani will at best keep BC where they are now; an above average ACC program. That's the upside. And Dabo? Well, let's just say we're all for him continuing to coach right up the way at Clemson. Let us know your thoughts on the current ACC coaches...

-Hash