Some Insights & Undercover Work.....

We've been thinking a lot about our new 3-4 defense & the personnel necessary to run it. The conclusion: you need big defensive linemen, particularly at nose tackle. Where does one find behemoths of this magnitude? It's not like we can run down to the old Walmart & pick up our prototype 340 pound nose guard (belay that, we could find plenty of 340 pounders at Walmart, getting them into Tech....???). So what do we do? How can we solve this vexing problem?

We decided the best way to attack this mystery is to head west to Tuscaloosa, home of the mighty Alabama Crimson Tide, your 2010 BCS National Champions. Nick Saban worked along side our new defensive coordinator Al Groh & both are "gurus" of the 3-4 defense. Anyone who watched the Alabama defense this year had to be impressed by the seemingly interchangeable 19 gargantuan defensive linemen they employed on their way to an undefeated season. What's their secret? Well we went undercover with our camera & came up with some interesting results:

First, you gotta start 'em young. Look below at current seventh grader & Tide commit (solid verbal, according to Rivals) William Tecumsah Shuman. The in-state Tide network had Saban on this kid in fourth grade; by sixth he'd pledged his allegiance to Tide nation. Here's Billy running a 40 for Saban & Co. :

Billy T. Shuman - future Tide defensive lineman, class of 2020.....

Next you gotta feed these boys properly. This here is Miss Lurlene Tompkins of the Prattville Tompkins, for all ya'll interested. She's the nutritionist for the Tide football team. Notice she wears her allegiance on not only her sleeve but other places:

So what's Miss Lurlene's trick to getting these boys so big? "Gotta feed 'em right, ya hear". Her secret weapon:

The famous all-you-can-eat buffet.....

Now Miss Lurlene's not alone in gettin' the boys ready for Coach Saban. This here is Mr. Reginald "Tater" Morris, 32 year veteran of the Tide staff as strength & conditioning coach. Notice in the picture below how he keenly eyes the cookies & donuts, carefully picking only the best for his young men.

"This here's an important job & we spend lots a time coachin' the boys up. Hell, it takes time to get big & ready to play football. Take some of these freshman. When they get to me they can barely finish a box of double stuff Oreos in one sittin'. By the end of their redshirt year, I got 'em eatin' 12 Moon Pies & drinkin' a gallon of milk BEFORE practice. That's my job, that's what I do....". That's commitment, my Tech friends, laudable, unparalleled commitment.

But that can't be all there is to getting one's defensive line ready to play? Why of course not. There are drills & plenty of practice that go into being number one. Below are some famous Bama drills for getting the boys into tip-top form. First, big men tend toward the sedentary. I am one so I know. How does one motivate a big man? Why yes, it really is that simple, food. Coach Saban knows this & employs the famous "hold-me-back-the-buffet-is-about-to-open drill". We've already talked about the importance of the all you can eat buffet, particularly on fried catfish & hush puppy night. It's simple, says Tater Morris: "just line the boys up 50 yards from the front door of the buffet 10 minutes before they open. That 10 minutes is important; you gotta' let 'em think about what lies ahead. It's sorta' like installing the game plan for dinner. Well, just blow the horn & open the doors & ....goddamn, it's like a stampeding herd of buffalo. You ever seen a 330 pound man compete with 18 other 330 pound men to see who gets to the fried chicken first? That's some inspirin' shit, city boy." We witnessed this back in 2008:

See if you can find JFK's face in the roiling blubber? A prize for the first person that does...

That's #6 overall NFL draft pick & current Cincinnati Bengal Andre Smith in full stride on a buffet run. The earth shook as Smith trundled toward his gastronomic reward. Awe inspiring...

Now we've been talking of the need for a powerful nose tackle in our new 3-4 & no one better fits that role than Bama's Terrence "Mount" Cody, the 6'2", 370 pound mountain of love who single handedly made it impossible to run on the Tide. Here's Cody, in all his glory, being measured at this week's Senior Bowl before NFL scouts.

Note the chiseled physique, muscular striation, & moobs...

But Cody wasn't just born a nose tackle, he had to work at it. Many people actually mistook the photo below for a simple summer swim. Alas, to the untrained eye that might appear to be the case. That's really a pool of gravy Cody is diving into, through which he will swim/eat his way out of. That's modern conditioning, folks.

And he's a great athlete. The man runs a sub 5.1 forty yard dash & can dunk a basketball. Hell, he leaps over people for fun....

But perhaps nothing sets Cody apart more than his desire for the ball. He simply lives to wrest the rock away from opponents. What's the secret? "We just told him to think of the ball as a ham" said Saban. "And everytime he gets the ball we then give him a ham". That is one motivated individual....

So now we know what it's going to take to win a BCS championship with our 3-4 defense. Let's hope Tech strength & conditioning coach Eric Ciano sees this......

-Hash (thanks to The Mayor for the photoshop work)