And the winner is.....

It's that time you've all been waiting for!!! Awards day!!!

Without further ado I present to you:

This week's White Russian's, for service above & beyond the call of duty to the Institute, the Dude salutes you:

• Bobby Bowden, Mickey Andrews, & Chuck Amato. Once the Axis of evil in the ACC, these three bitter old bastards have been reduced to an old-folks-home game of pinochle looking for a fourth player. It was stunning, and frankly quite pleasing, to see their ineptitude on Saturday night. How many times can a team run the same play, gash your defense like the villian in a cheap slasher flick, and have you stare idly by as you ponder what type of cream of wheat your geriatric ass will have for breakfast? Well we now know- the answer is infinity. Excepting our eight passing attempts on Saturday, we ran the same three plays all night long. I shit you not. Triple option from the base formation, triple option from the trips set, & the mid-line option. There were variations on these plays but they are really close. Did they adjust? Thankfully no! They simply sat around while we rammed the ball down their throat all night long, bemoaning the "dad-gum wishbone" & how tough it is to stop. Not one adjustment defensively. Gentlemen, for your senility, apparent apathy, & general decline into mediocrity, the Dude lifts a White Russian to you....

The Three Stooges of the Redneck Riviera

• Conversely, we must bestow a White Russian upon our fearless leader, Coach Paul Johnson. For general offensive genius, strategery above all others, & generally mind-fucking defensive coaches & coordinators around the ACC. As we noted above, CPJ used essentially three plays to emasculate a once proud F$U program, hanging up the highest point total since 1961 against the 'Noles. And in their building, no less. Johnson's use of the trips wide formation, as detailed in last night's post, was pure genius. And something tells me he might have spent half-time with the defense, making adjustments that held F$U to 136 yards in the second half after a 403 yard explosion in the first. Drink up, coach....

I said score, damnit

• Our offensive line. By far their best game of the year. Messieurs Barrick, Sellers, Smith, Howard, Uzzi, Gilbert, Bedford, & Voss played a whale of a game. We constantly moved the line of scrimmage & only had 2 negative plays on the night. Gentlmen, we salute you...

This week's Walter's, because, "there are rules, Smokey" and you must obey them:

• The F$U Glitter Boys:

Who thought this was a good idea? Really? You're terrifying in that "rabid hamster" sort of way. You boys are about 1300 miles from your intended destination. Studio 54 is in New York, not Tallahassee...

• ACC officials. Suck. Absolutely abysmal yet again. Corey Earls clearly strips the ball from the F$U player then falls to the ground where he is down by contact. End of play, Tech ball. But these morons blew it yet again. Same old story....but we would be remiss for not calling out our fearless leader here. He's got to call timeout & challenge the play. I know it's the first play of the game but that's why you challenge-it sets a completely different tone.

Hooray, it's time for my shift at FootLocker...

And finally, a rare award this week. The highest honor we bestow here at The Barrel is:

The Jesus

We bestow this honor because, as we all know, "Nobody fucks with the Jesus". And we also know that try as other teams might, nobody fucks with the Silent Warrior, Josh Nesbitt. We need not delve into his Herculean performance on Saturday night except to say that every time he steps on the field, he's the toughest SOB out there. So we salute you, sir, for leading our fine team to victory. Curious about Josh's sentiments, some folks over at Stingtalk asked him about receiving such a great honor. He got all emotional on us:

The only terrified here is your defense...