Monday, October 5, 2009

Canadian Football

As the SEC is currently using 10 names for 12 teams we propose to further reduce the mental strain on SEC fans by invoking a creative solution first struck upon by the CFL. All teams formally known as Tigers, Bulldogs, Wildcats, or Eagles will for now on be known as the Rough Riders. Thanks to this new rule we can now say "Congratulations Louisiana Rough Riders. You over came poor coaching to grind out a win against the University of Georgia Rough Riders."
If any of the five SEC teams effected by this rule care to be removed from the list we suggest you think of an original name. Below is a list of recommended changes.
  • Auburn Rough Riders to Auburn War Eagles. If we hear one more "what's the deal with Auburn's mascot" conversations we are going to puke. You're better than that Auburn, even if Alabama usually beats u 'round november.
  • LSU Rough Riders to the LSU Bayou Bengals. Not only will this name change not require a uniform change, but it will highlight the similarities between a third world swamp and the country of Bengal.
  • Georgia Rough Riders to Georgia Dawgs. Your inbred grasp of the English language makes this a natural.
  • Mississippi State Rough Riders to Mississippi State Probationers. This brings the schools nickname into alignment with SEC bylaws that require at least one Mississippi school to be on probation at any given time. LONG LIVE JACKIE SHERRILL!!!
  • Kentucky Rough Riders to Kentucky Shoe Boxes Full of Money. In honor of your new basketball coach. Did you know that UMass has never been to the final four. Its true.

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