Monday, December 21, 2009

The Compulsive Gambler's Guide to the Galaxy....pt.3


Well we're off to a decent start at 2-1. After watching Fresno State play against mighty Wyoming we're crystal clear on what the "V" on the back of their helmets stands for. And if you didn't get a chance to watch Middle Tennessee square off with Southern Miss in the New Orleans Bowl on Sunday night you missed out. A great game & even better performance by MTSU QB/One-Man Show Dwight Dasher. One word for Mr. Dasher: BALLER. I'm not as bummed about Tech playing MTSU at home next year. In fact, he'll be really fun to watch. Kid can really play. Moving forward with our picks:
  • EagleBank Bowl - UCLA (-4.5) vs. Temple. That's correct. Temple is playing in a bowl game. The probability of this happening is somewhere close to that of Hash teaching an aerobics class. We're pretty sure the apocolypse is nigh. So hats off & many a White Russian for Temple coach Al Golden. Without a doubt our coach-of-the-year. So we could really care less about this game, frankly. Which leads us to ever popular "who has the hottest women" poll to determine a winner....
A landslide victory for UCLA....and a compelling reason to attend college in Cali....
  • Champs Sports Bowl - #15 Miami (-2.5) vs. #25 Wisconsin. Let's see. Straight Gangstars from ThugU vs. a bunch of Midwestern dairy farmers. If this were a casserole contest the folks from Madison might have a chance. It's not. And to top it off the game is in Florida. Illicet substances don't even have to cross state lines in this case. Jacory Harris will have at least 5 white farm girls mesmerized by his swagger...in the first quarter. I'd say bet the farm but let's go with bet the drug cartel mansion. ThugU. Big...
Some smooth cats hang in Miami.....
  • Humanitarian Bowl - Bowling Green vs. Idaho (-1.5). Please call 213-386-8789 if you're even contemplating wagering on this game outside of a football pool. There's no way you've even seen either team play. Seriously. But if you're in a pool that forces you to pick every game we suggest you opt for the "Mascot Fearsome Factor" in picking this game. Bowling Green is the Falcons. Not bad. Idaho is the Vandals. Vandals are either an East Germanic tribe who sacked Rome in 455 A.D. or a motorcycle gang. Either way their gonna rape & pillage some shit. Take Idaho....
Hard to think "The Sacking of Boise in 2010" makes Wikipedia...
  • Holiday Bowl - #20 Arizona (-.5) vs. #22 Nebraska. The ever popular half point. It's like having your manly "onions" grazed; you just wait that extra half second for the pain to set in. Will it hurt? Did it miss? OHHHHH, shit. That's a half-point line. This is simple. Nebraska couldn't score with a $100 bill in a whorehouse. Their offense is that bad. However, one doesn't need an offense when one has Ndamukong Suh. The "House of Spears" HIMSELF would only be about a 4 point dog to Arizona. We'll take the Beast & the half point. Happily. And we'll watch to see the destruction Suh wreaks upon all....
Like we said, you don't need an offense when he can score by himself.....


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