Saturday, December 12, 2009

Be on the lookout for....

Wanted: Ron Dayne
Crime: Theft of Heisman Trophy
Victim: #14 Joe Hamilton
If you see this man, please run him over, get the trophy, & return to it's rightful owner, Joe Hamilton, here in Atlanta.  Beware, he now frequently masquerades as a water buffalo & may look like this:

Dayne may also closely resemble a beached whale, frighteningly similar to how he looked when absconding with the Trophy.  Approach with caution as the subject may try & eat you.  Do not, however, be alarmed, as once located the subject will not be able to flee due to battleship-like speed.  Extra bonus points will be awarded for incapacitating clueless Heisman voters.

I was asked today if I was going to watch the Heisman ceremony, who I thought would win, & would I write about it?  Next time please just kick me in my manly parts.  Even thinking about that charade makes me throw up a little in my mouth.  A giant turd sandwich for the New York Athletic Club.  They don't deserve to give out a trophy named after such a fine Tech coach.  We haven't given a shit about the Heisman since that fat ass-weasel Ron Dayne stole it from Little Joe.  Someday we're gonna steal it back & put it on Joe's mantle, where it rightfully belongs.  Ron Dayne?  Really?  You gotta be fuckin' kidding me? So no, we could give a shit about the Heisman trophy.  It's American Idol meets college football.  I hope Ndamukong Suh eats a voter on his way out of New York....Tirade over, Hash out....


  1. Ingram is good and all, but seriously???

    We're getting in the car to go get Joes trophy back. Who's with me?

    Much agreed on the award voting. Screw em. Nice thing to note is that only 6 or 7 times in the history of the game has the Heisman winner been on the National Champion squad... Hook 'em Horns!!!

  2. Funny, I called it the American Idol of college football myself last evening. And yes, Ron Dayne is the world's fastest manatee.

  3. Is that actually a Caribou or a Water Buffalo? (Trust me, there is a difference)

  4. That sir, is a genuine water buffalo. Or Ron Dayne. I'm not sure. Happily I don't share your sexual proclivities so I shall indeed trust you that there is a difference. Too easy, sir.....

  5. We'll have to hollow out the heisman for joe so he can hide his weed in it. He can then drive around with the heisman in his car. I know from experience, its a whole different conversation with a police officer when it starts with "is that the heisman" rather than "is that a bag of weed"